Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Couch. On fire.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
