you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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