Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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