; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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