i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
