I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
