she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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