tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
