Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
