He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
