i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
