is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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