The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come share oat with me in your robe
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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