i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize