Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
