Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
