At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just had sex on a roof
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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