Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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