She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
