I wish I only lived at night.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up under a house in Key West
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