Pregnant stripper...not hot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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