so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
