i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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