hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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