I'd wear matching sweaters with you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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