Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
