Don't you send me to vm
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no you cant smoke seaweed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
