So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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