thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
