There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
