Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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