I wanna bring you to show and tell
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
