What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
