So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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