whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
