Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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