I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
