If i come over, it means nothing
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
