hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
