They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
