these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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