Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
