Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
