Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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