guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
