Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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