How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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