My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
