I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
