dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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