Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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